This has been a difficult few weeks for me. First we have some guy eating another guy's face in the US, next we have this Zombie walk coming to Vanvouver. I am not impressed.
I work my ass off, but I have standards. On one hand, I want to be paid, and the other hand: a shit ton of Zombies. I will have to attend, this is very upsetting to me, but I guess I have to do what I have to do...
Don't bother looking for me there tho, there's a good chance I will be undercover (Got into some trouble a while back because of my "Antics" and would rather not have any more issues)
So on that note, here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/events/268230029856866/
I am not impressed, but there is work that needs to be done. Maybe I get to try out my new "Toy"
(Stay tuned for photos of my new toy)
Friday, 1 June 2012
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
Camp
As some of you may already know... I have been in a work camp for the last while. Now because my client has remained anonymous, I have to make sure that I do not specify certain details: For example, it is a work camp; this could mean mining, forestry, etc. I will also not say where I am; I am somewhere far from Vancouver, but still in North America.
The reason I am writing this, is that I have no clue why I am up here (tho the money is very good) There are no zombies, no gnomes, and I haven't heard from that asshole Mr. Sharp for a while now. Basically all I have been doing while up here, is sitting on my ass, eating, and going to the gym (Can't lose my physique)
I have just recieved a new task for the rest of the week. Some asshole stole a drawer. I haven't a clue why anyone would bother stealing a drawer, but I guess if it's not bolted down...
Keep checking back for more, I won't be here forever.
The reason I am writing this, is that I have no clue why I am up here (tho the money is very good) There are no zombies, no gnomes, and I haven't heard from that asshole Mr. Sharp for a while now. Basically all I have been doing while up here, is sitting on my ass, eating, and going to the gym (Can't lose my physique)
I have just recieved a new task for the rest of the week. Some asshole stole a drawer. I haven't a clue why anyone would bother stealing a drawer, but I guess if it's not bolted down...
Keep checking back for more, I won't be here forever.
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Suggestions for you if you see me
Recently I've had a lot of questions from people, the two that are at the top of my head right now are: "Feltern, what drink should I buy you if I see you at a bar?" and oddly enough: "Feltern, what do you like to eat on your food?"
Now I don't exactly know why people want to know what I like on my food, but for god's sake I get paid to "get rid of" zombies... That being said, I am more than willing to answer both questions
If you see me at a bar, here is a list of drinks to buy for me:
Whiskey
Scotch on the rocks (I prefer when you make it a double and hold the ice)
Bourbon
Whiskey
Whiskey and Whiskey
Whiskey and Cola
Rye
Beer
Beer and a shot of Whiskey
A shot of Whiskey and a Beer
Grapefruit Juice
Whiskey and Grapefruit juice
Margaritas
Disclaimer: If you try and drug me, I will be forced to pull both of your arms off and beat you senseless with them. You might wake up in a dumpster (I'm talking to you Mr. Sharp)
As far as things I like on my food, I would much prefer putting them onto the food myself, but here goes:
Whiskey
Hot Sauce
Jalapeno Peppers
BBQ sauce
Cayenne Pepper
I hope that helps you make choices, stay tuned for more updates
Now I don't exactly know why people want to know what I like on my food, but for god's sake I get paid to "get rid of" zombies... That being said, I am more than willing to answer both questions
If you see me at a bar, here is a list of drinks to buy for me:
Whiskey
Scotch on the rocks (I prefer when you make it a double and hold the ice)
Bourbon
Whiskey
Whiskey and Whiskey
Whiskey and Cola
Rye
Beer
Beer and a shot of Whiskey
A shot of Whiskey and a Beer
Grapefruit Juice
Whiskey and Grapefruit juice
Margaritas
Disclaimer: If you try and drug me, I will be forced to pull both of your arms off and beat you senseless with them. You might wake up in a dumpster (I'm talking to you Mr. Sharp)
As far as things I like on my food, I would much prefer putting them onto the food myself, but here goes:
Whiskey
Hot Sauce
Jalapeno Peppers
BBQ sauce
Cayenne Pepper
I hope that helps you make choices, stay tuned for more updates
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Thursday, 12 January 2012
WTF???!!? Mr. Sharp???
I can honestly say that I am not at all sure what is going on. I recieved an e-mail today with some very disturbing and somewhat questionable photos. I was under the impression that when you kill someone, cut off their head, keep it in your freezer for several days, and throw it in the ocean a person remains dead... I guess I was wrong. Mr. Sharp is still alive, and as rude as ever... Looks like he got himself a new mask too. Now before I go much farther, I must warn you that this post is not for the faint of heart.
Here is an exerpt from the very angry, and very poorly written e-mail: "Fuck you you fucking fuck. try to kill me? you can't kill shit you fuck." He goes on to make several threats, aswell as insult my family, along with everything else he could think of. I will spare you the headache of trying to decipher any more of that mindless drivel. To be fair to my readers, I have however decided to include four of the more amusing photos he included in his e-mail. I do however want to remind you that these photos are not for the faint of heart, and to remind everyone, I have included a fifth photo that serves solely to remind you of the fact that this is rather disturbing.
If you have gotten this far, I won't blame you if you spend the rest of your day curled up in your shower in fetal position while crying. These photos disturbed even me. I guess it just goes to show that some people have absolutely no shame...
Good luck with your recovery, and remember that if this post causes any suicides, they are in no way my fault. Don't sue.
Here is an exerpt from the very angry, and very poorly written e-mail: "Fuck you you fucking fuck. try to kill me? you can't kill shit you fuck." He goes on to make several threats, aswell as insult my family, along with everything else he could think of. I will spare you the headache of trying to decipher any more of that mindless drivel. To be fair to my readers, I have however decided to include four of the more amusing photos he included in his e-mail. I do however want to remind you that these photos are not for the faint of heart, and to remind everyone, I have included a fifth photo that serves solely to remind you of the fact that this is rather disturbing.
If you have gotten this far, I won't blame you if you spend the rest of your day curled up in your shower in fetal position while crying. These photos disturbed even me. I guess it just goes to show that some people have absolutely no shame...
Good luck with your recovery, and remember that if this post causes any suicides, they are in no way my fault. Don't sue.
Monday, 9 January 2012
What to do?
I have been asking myself for a while what to do with Mr. Sharp's head? I have kept it in my freezer since he died, but it is raising too many questions at dinner parties and whe I have dates. My clients don't really like seeing it either.
I have decided that tonight it is getting tossed into the ocean. Within 3 hours, it will be floating around and no longer my problem.
Glad this is dealt with.
I have decided that tonight it is getting tossed into the ocean. Within 3 hours, it will be floating around and no longer my problem.
Glad this is dealt with.
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