WTF???!!? Mr. Sharp???

I can honestly say that I am not at all sure what is going on.  I recieved an e-mail today with some very disturbing and somewhat questionable photos.  I was under the impression that when you kill someone, cut off their head, keep it in your freezer for several days, and throw it in the ocean a person remains dead... I guess I was wrong. Mr. Sharp is still alive, and as rude as ever... Looks like he got himself a new mask too.  Now before I go much farther, I must warn you that this post is not for the faint of heart.
     Here is an exerpt from the very angry, and very poorly written e-mail: "Fuck you you fucking fuck. try to kill me? you can't kill shit you fuck."  He goes on to make several threats, aswell as insult my family, along with everything else he could think of.  I will spare you the headache of trying to decipher any more of that mindless drivel.  To be fair to my readers, I have however decided to include four of the more amusing photos he included in his e-mail. I do however want to remind you that these photos are not for the faint of heart, and to remind everyone, I have included a fifth photo that serves solely to remind you of the fact that this is rather disturbing.

If you have gotten this far, I won't blame you if you spend the rest of your day curled up in your shower in fetal position while crying. These photos disturbed even me. I guess it just goes to show that some people have absolutely no shame...
Good luck with your recovery, and remember that if this post causes any suicides, they are in no way my fault. Don't sue.

What to do?

I have been asking myself for a while what to do with Mr. Sharp's head? I have kept it in my freezer since he died, but it is raising too many questions at dinner parties and whe I have dates. My clients don't really like seeing it either.

I have decided that tonight it is getting tossed into the ocean. Within 3 hours, it will be floating around and no longer my problem.
Glad this is dealt with.

Vancouver Police

Aaand As usual, I have nothing but great things to say about the Vancouver Police Department. I came accross a fight between some drunken idiot, and Santa. Naturally I did step in, but as neither of them happen to be zombies, all I could do was stop the fight until the Police arrived.
I am quite impressed with the way that the the police handled the situation, and I look forward to working with them again in the future.
Merry Christmas (or whatever other holiday you choose to or not to celebrate)
Good night all, you will hear more about the holiday insanity soon (lots more)

Disclaimer

I got some hate mail today. Seems someone (who shall remain nameless) has decided to attempt to copy what I do. He was bitten, now I have to "remove" this idiot from existance. Now the main issue here is: DO NOT TRY WHAT I DO AT HOME (or anywhere else for that matter) unless accompanied by a certified Zombie Removal Specialist such as Myself. Moreover do not even look at this site, it is offensive (although in this day and age, I don't know what is not offensive to at least someone)
By accessing this page you waive any rights to annoy the hell out of me, sue me or any of my associates for anything at all, or do anything else rediculous.
Remember that Zombies are no laughing matter, they are hazardous to your health, annoying, smell bad and are not cheap to deal with.
Lastly, have a sende of humour and don't forget how awesome I am.

Gnomes

I regret to inform everyone that the catch and relocate program set out by our provincial government concerning gnomes has been a failure. More work is needed, but expect to see a proactive euthanasia program on the books very soon.

Old stuff

Here are some of the older photos I have
Figured I would share them with you again

Found this at a magazine stand in Downtown Vancouver

Dealing with a Zombie Sympathizer

Not even sure what to say...

You're welcome

Sad day

Today is a sad day. my good friend Russel was killed last night by a zombie (don't worry, he won't be passing the infection onto anyone) I will be very upset for the next while, but I am not cancelling tomorrow's try outs. To honour Russel, I have posted photos of my "removal" of this zombie.  Russel, we will miss you.

 Remember kids, I am a professional. A very pissed off professional. Never ever touch a zombie

I guess you could say that problem was "removed"